Georges Perec, Jean-Paul BAQUIAST, Soudoplatoff (pour ne pas mentionner Scherer) Laboratoire de physiologie Faculté de médecine Diafoirus, Paris, France
1er Novembre 1997 7 pages
Note: L'on remarquera que Les chroniques du bêta-bloquant, bien que non suspectes de relativisme-post-moderne, ont publié cet article sans se rendre compte qu'il s'agissait d'un canular.
Démonstration expérimentale d'un reflexe bloquant chez le BBlocans
L'auteur étude les fois que l'Internet il provoquit la réaction bloquante chez Internetans bétabloquans et demonstre que divers plusieures aires de la cervelle elles était implicatées dans le response, en particular, le trajet laudiovisuel, les nuclei thalameux et le fiçure grincheux de l'hémisphère nord. Le lecteur(trice) sera prié(e) d'observer que la plupart des travaux rifirencés sont d'une époque avant l'apparition massive de l'internet, ce qui prouve une certaine prescience de la part des publicateurs quotés.
As observed at the turn of the century by Marks & Spencer (1899), who first named the " blocking reflex or reaction " (BR), the striking effects of supposed electronic abuse (notice that electronics have not yet been invented, which clearly show how our authors were in advance) throwing on brain have been extensively described. Although numerous behavioral (Zeeg & Puss, 1931; Roux & Combaluzier, 1932; Sinon et al., 1948), pathological (Hun & Deu, 1960), comparative (Karybb & Szyla, 1973) and follow-up (Else & Vire, 1974) studies have permitted a valuable description of these typical responses, neuroanatomical, as well as neurophysiological data, are, in spite of their number, surprisingly confusing. In their henceforth late twenties' classical demonstrations, Chou & Lai (1927 a, b, c, 1928 a, b, 1929 a, 1930) have ruled out the hypothesis of a pure facio-facial nociceptive reflex that has been advanced for many years by a number of authors (Mace & Doyne, 1912; Payre & Tairnelle, 1916; Sornette & Billevayzé, 1925). Since that time, numerous observations have been made that have tried to decipher the tangling puzzle as well as the puzzling tangle of the afferent and/or efferent sides of the BR and led to the rather chaotic involvement of numberless structures and paths: trigeminal (Loewenstein et al., 1930), bitrigeminal (Von Aitick, 1940), quadritrigeminal (Van der Deder, 1950), supra-, infra-, and inter-trigeminal (Mason & Ragoun, 1960) afferents have been likely pointed out as well as macular (Zakouski, 1954), saccular (Bortsch, 1955), utricular (Malosol, 1956), ventricular (Tarama, 1957), monocular (Zubrowska, 1958), binocular (Chachlik, 1959-1960), triocular (Strogonoff, 1960), auditive (Balalaika, 1515) and digestive (Alka-Seltzer, 1815) inputs. Spinothalamic (Attou & Ratathou, 1974), rubrospinal (Maotz & Toung, 1973), nigro-suiatal (Szentagothai, 1972), reticular (Pompeiano et al., 1971), hypothalamic (Hubel & Wiesel, 1970), mesolimbic (Kuffler, 1969) and cerebellar (High & Low, 1968) pathways have been vainly searched out for a tentative explanation of the BR organization and almost every part of the somesthesic (Pericoloso & Sporgersi, 1973), motor (Ford, 1930), commissural (Gordon & Bogen, 1974) and associative (Einstein et al., 1974) cortices have been found responsible for the progressive building-up of the response although, up-to-now, no decisive demonstration of both the input and output of the BR programming has been convincely advanced.
Recent observations by Unsofort & Tchetera pointing out that " the more you throw internet input on Betabloquans, the more they block " and comparative studies dealing with the gasp-reaction (Otis & Pifre, 1994), hiccup (Carpentier & Fialip, 1964), cat purring (Remmers & Gautier, 1972), HM reflex (Vincent et al., 1976), ventriloquy (McCulloch et al., 1964), shriek, scream, shrill and other hysterical reactions (Sturm & Drang, 1973) provoked by internet, intranet (nevertheless excluding networking and devices faults, breacks of connections, applications bugs and other devilish problems happening to users). (Harvar & Mercy, 1973) have led to the steady assumption of a positive feedback organization of the BR based upon a semilinear quadristable multi-switching interdigitation of neuronal sub-networks functioning en desordre (Beulott et al., 1974). Although this hypothesis seems rather seductive, it lacks anatomical and physiological foundations and we therefore decide to explore systematically the internal incremental or decremental organization of the BR, allowing a tentative anatomic model.
MATERIALS AND METHODS
Experiments were carried out on 107 male and female healthy internet users supposed to belong to the Betabloquans species (Internetans betablocans L.) furnished by the Club des utilisateurs d'Internet, and weighing 94-124 kg (mean weight: 101 kg). Halothane anesthesia was utilized during the course of tracheotomy, fixation in the Horsley-Clarke, and major operative procedures. 5 % procaine was injected into skin margins and pressure points. Animals were then immobilized with gallamine triethyiodide (40 mg/kg/hr) and normocapnia was maintained by appropriate artificial ventilation. Spinal cord transections were performed at L³/T² levels, thus eliminating blood pressure variations and adrenaline secretion induced by Internet reception (Giscard d'Estaing, 1974). The fact that the animals were suffering from pain was shown by their constant grummeling and muttering throughout the experiments. Internal temperature was maintained at 38 °C ± 4 °F by means of three electrically drived boiling kettles.
Internet emissions were thrown by an automatic emetor (Wait & See, 1972) monitored by an all-purpose laboratory computer (DID/92/85/P/331) operated on-line. Repetitive throwing allowed up to 9 projections per sec, thus mimicking the physiological conditions encountered by ordinary Internet addicts and other Surfers on the web (Tebaldi, 1953). Care was taken to avoid pornographic, pedophilic, personal informations (CNIL ; L. 1978) projections on upper and/or lower brains part . Only programms affecting intelligence and artistic imagination were taken into account.
Control experiments were made with other receptions/aessions as TV, kino, radio, family, neighbourg stupid projectiles generally saturating the reception zona of brains (Heinz, 1952).
Unit activity was recorded through glasstungsten semi-macroelectrodes located au-petit-bonheur, according to the methods of Zyszytrakyczywsz-Sekrâwszkiwcz (1974). Spike recognition was performed by audiomonitoring: every time a unit discharge was heard, it was carefully photographed, tapped, displayed on a monograph and, after integration, on a polygraph. Statistical evaluation of the results was made using a tennis like algorithm (Wimbledon, 1974), that is, every time a structure responds up to win the game, it was recognized as YR-related. All this can now be found by researchers on http ://www.closeyour gol.org
At the end of the experiments, betabloquans's were perfused with olive oil, and 10 % GlennFiddish, and incubated at 421 °C in 15 % orange juice during 47 hours. Frozen 2 cm unstained sections were mounted into delta-strawberry sherbet and observed under light and heavy microscopy. Histological verifications confirmed that all the electrodes were located in the brain except four that were found in cauda equina and filum terminale and disclosed from statistical analysis.
Stereotaxic explorations of brains during internet non intrusive implementation showed that most of the areas respond differently to the internetomesthetic stimulation. As can be seen from table 1, where the results are summarized, three (3) distinct areas gave definite, unambiguous and constant responses of agressive return, or feed-back : the nucleus anterior reticularis thalami pars lateralis (NARTpl), or nucleus of Pesch (Pesch, 1876; Poissy, 1880; Jeanpace & Desmeyeurs, 1932), the anterior portion of the tractus leguminosus (apTL), lying 3.5 mm above the obex and 4 mm right of the tentorium and the dorsal part of the so-called "reticulus (network) sulcus " (scMS) of the left hemisphere (Donen & Kelly, 1956). It is of interest to notice that, if the left hemisphere was kept for analysis, the right hemisphere was left. It is not supposed to have a politic or para-politic origin, since Internet is fundamentally politicoly neutral if not correct.
Tableau 1(not loaded) Differential responding of specific internet stimulation in the brain at different frequencies.
Examples of responses obtained from these structures can be seen on Figure 1 (not loaded) , where temporal analysis of the spike distribution based on their Responsive-Area-Temporal-Programming (RATP) properties allowed to distinguish 3 unit subtypes: 1) units responding before the stimulation; 2) units responding during the stimulation and 3) units responding after the stimulation.
Figure 1 (not loaded): Unit activity in structures responding to internet stimulation. Bar indicates stimulus onset & cessation. Calibration: 3.1416 ms. Each trace is made of the superimposition of 33.57 successive recordings. Note the point in A, the arrow in B and the black triangle in C.
Cross-examination of responses driven by other multimedia projectiles and radio/TV stimulations are shown on figure 2 (not loaded) and argue unquestionably in favor of a nevrotic specifically Internet betablocans, onomatotopic organization of the BR along, between and across the NARTpl, apTL and scMS. Temporal relationships of those responses, as examplified in figure 3 (not loaded), showed that the hypothesis of a clustering interdigitation of neuronal subnets is highly probable, although no experimental evidence can be given due to the relative difficulty of entering those damned structures without destroying a lot of things and precious informations (Timeo et al., 1971).
Figure 2 (not loaded) Examples of response in the apTL provoked by internet and other virtual agressions. Explanations in text.
Figure 3 (not loaded) Temporal relationship of the responses recorded in the BR area. Abscissae: arbitrary units; ordinates: international units. Explanations in text.
It has been shown above that internet reception provokes, along with a few other motor, visual, vegetative and behavioral reactions, neuronal responses in 3 distinctive brain areas: the nucleus anterior reticular thalami, pars lateralis (NARTpl), the anterior portion of the tractus leguminosus (apTL) and the dorsal part of the so-called internet-sensitive sulcus (isscMS). As pointed out by Chou & Lai (1929 b), Lai & Chou (1931 a, b) and Unsofort & Tchetera (1972), the BR organization cannot be simply reduced to an oligosynaptic facio-facial nociceptive reflex which would have relayed over in the fascia leguminosa of the VIth laminations of the ventral quadrants of the paleospino-rubro-yello-tectocerebellonigrostriatal internetatomatonergic ascending pathways. For the fact that horseradish peroxidase injected into the internet users' vocal cords is retrogradually transported from the apical dendrites of the vagus nerves to the internetomatotomatic synapses of thc contralateral pseudogasserian afferents (McHulott et al., 1975) proves with some likelihood the iracious and somewhat nevrotic nature of the internal agent (mediator) responsible for the transmission of the message from the receptive internet fields to the BR circuitry (Colle et al., 1973). Thus, 3,5 (M-tri) argyril-beta-L-tomatase which is selectively trisynthetized in the NARTpl-apTL bundle and whose destruction blocks up drastically the BR (Others et al., 1974) stands out as the major candidate for the transmitter involved in the BR retroacting loop, although an alternate hypothesis based upon latency calculations, and cross frequency correlation, puts forward the feasibility of a internetomatotonic synapse (see Dendritt & Haxon, 1975). Although decisive experimental evidences are still lacking and further series of experiment are needed before the complete elucidation of the BR can be achieved, it seems logical to advance that above combined arguments along with experimental results described in our work are likely to support the hypothesis of a semi-linear multi-stable multi-switching net-back feedwork organization of the BR whose a tentative anatomical model can therefore be proposed (Figure 4, not loaded)
Figure 4 Tentative anatomical model of the BR organization. Explanations in text or elsewhere. Black lines = inhibitory; broken lines = interrogatory; dashed lines = redhibitory; stellate lines = whig-and-tory
This work was supported by grants from the Syndicat régional des Utilisateurs d'Internet, the Association française des Amateurs d'Art non pedophilo-pornographiques (AFAANPP) and the Fédération internationale des Dactylo-Bibliographes reconvertis de bon cur à Internet-Intranet sans indemnités informatiques (FIDBRDBCAIISII).
The author gratefully acknowledges the helpful criticisms as well as the skillful assistance of J. Chandelier, M. De Miroschedji and H. Gautier (and not omitting George Perec himself).
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